Archive for the ‘Nicole Kidman’ Category

Golden Globes dresses!

January 18, 2011

In no particular order, let’s take a look at this year’s hits and misses…

First of all, Angie-Jo wore colour. Actual colour. All over her. And she does sort of look like Ariel’s fin but we can look past this because the woman looks so much more alive when she steps away from the black.

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Somewhere in Hollywood, a makeup artist has just been sacked…

December 18, 2009

How on earth did that happen?  Nicole Kidman must have looked in a mirror the last opportunity she had before stepping on the red carpet!

An over-zealous makeup artist must have decided to give her a quick finishing touch in the limo and not blended properly.  A costly mistake.  I can’t quite imagine the scene that must have ensued when Nicole saw these pictures.

I wonder whether it was noticeable to all who was there or whether the excess powder only showed up against the glare of the paps’ camera bulbs?

Nicole Kidman popped out a girl

July 8, 2008

Nicole is now hopefully free from the pregnancy
hormones that presumably made her choose this outfit

Seemingly the least maternal woman in showbiz, Nicole Kidman, has had a baby girl.  That was one weird pregnancy.  There was no bump for about seven months, then one came from nowhere and now the baby is here!

And they called her… Sunday Rose Kidman Urban.  When I typed that out the first time I put “Road” instead of “Rose,” probably because of the ‘Urban’ – but also because I wouldn’t put it past celebs to give their kids a name as stupid as that. 

Hmm, I’ve always liked Rose, but Sunday?  Aww hell no… all the kids at school are going to be singing: “Easy like Sunday morning” at her.  Poor Sunday.  Reputation ruined already.

But congratulations to Nicole and Keith.  After a miscarriage and rumours of her adopted children snubbing her for creepy step mum Katie Holmes, I hope she finds maternal bliss with her newborn.

Chanel likes actresses with annoying faces

June 17, 2008

Do you remember the good old days when fashion companies used, y’know, models to advertise their goods? Not so much anymore.

Chanel especially likes getting celebrity faces, and I sometimes wonder at the choices they make. First they had the eternally irritating Keira Knightley, whose face is constantly in turbo-pout.


Yeah, we know love, you
have lips.

And now they’ve gone and replaced her with Hermione! Oh my god. Emma Watson. As Chandler Bing would say, could she be any more annoying? Whereas Keira pouts and preens while contorting her boyish frame into forced poses, Emma keeps her features in an infuriating state of snugness.


A face that says: “I’m only 18
and worth millions!”

Hopefully Emma’s contract won’t stretch to TV commercials too. We definitely do not need to hear Hermione’s over-pronounced consonants in between episodes of Britain’s Next top Model (my love! we meet again tonight!). Mind you nothing can be worse than pop-eyed Nicole Kidman’s acting in the Chanel No.5 advert.

Altogether now … “Drive!