Archive for the ‘Lindsay Lohan’ Category

When did teenagers get so “cool”?

October 30, 2009

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What’s happened to teenagers?  When I think of my adolescent years, I think of awful fashion, bad hair, acne and awkwardness.  But for today’s tweens life seems like one big Skins episode, where everyone is lithe, leggy and stylish.

How self-assured does 16-year-old Taylor Momsen look, above, in all of her bleached and stocking-ed glory?  Why couldn’t I look as aloof as Kristen Stewart when I was 18??

Thing is, underneath the fame and glamour that these young girls are enjoying, I do wonder what the cost is.   Taylor particularly concerns me.  I mean, ok, you have great legs love, but, you ARE 16.  How long was her childhood, five minutes?  It’s not just the chemical-coloured hair extensions and lashings of eyeliner that are worrying but the “seen it all, done it all” expression on her face.  I see another Lindsay Lohan in the making here, and it’s sad, but that’s now an unfortunate comparison to make.

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Lohans are losers, Britain’s next top models are bitches

June 11, 2008

Reality TV really is soul-destroying at times.  No, I haven’t succumbed to Big Brother.  Yet.  However on Sunday I did try to sit down and watch a whole episode of Living Lohan, purely so that I could come on here afterwards and bitch about what a bad mother Dina Lohan is.  But not even for that worthy cause could I get to the end of the episode. 


Which Lohan is the celebrity again?

In fact it was less than ten minutes of irrelevant screen-shots of framed pictures of Lindsay and Aliana trying to sing “hip-hop” before I decided that I’d rather go and look at the door my significant other had just painted.  There was no need to watch any more Lohan magic anyway – the whole point of the show is that 14 going on 40 Ali wants to be just like her big sister.  Mission accomplished, seeing as she’s already wearing the entire Boots counter on her face and sings like a strangled feline.  Nothing else left to see.


Ali Lohan, 14.  Yes, one-four. Really.

But I had no problem watching my usual Monday night fix of reality mess last night.  Oh Britain’s Next Top Model, I think I love you.  The tacky shoots.  The ridiculous judges.  The brainless bitching.  Every time we say goodbye, I yearn for more of you until our next rendezvous. 


Alex, miserable cow.

As the show is knocking off more and more wannabes, the cats are really getting their claws out.  Last night sour-puss Ally totally mauled saucy Stefanie (but not to her face of course).  She called her a ‘ho’, and ‘fat’, hissing: “I may be too big for the catwalk as well, but I can lose weight – she can’t lose bone.”  Saucer of non-fat milk at table number five please!  It’s ok though, when Stefanie finally finds out what Ally’s been saying behind her back she can at least retaliate by saying she has better teeth.  Ally, if you’re so perfect, get those gnashers fixed.  I’ve seen straighter rows in a medieval graveyard.