Archive for the ‘Jennifer Aniston’ Category

Jennifer Aniston’s hot new man (but probably not)

August 15, 2008

You all must have heard by now that Jennifer and John Mayer have called it quits.  It’s no wonder really, they were three months in and already the magazines headlines were screaming about babies and marriage.  Anyway, although the media like to portay Jennifer as this, old, desperate spinster (lord forbid a WOMAN be single at 40!) it turns out she dumped him for cheating. 

You see, that is totally why I couldn’t go out with a gorgeous, famous, talented musician (and of course dozens have begged for my hand in marriage) – I’d be worried the whole time about what he was doing!

But, apparently, Jen has moved on quickly to the fine specimen in the picture above.  Well, I wouldn’t kick him out of bed for farting I suppose.  If you recognise him, it may be because he’s the hot male model that appears in Britney Spear’s Toxic video.

Mind you, there are now sources that say he’s not dating Jennifer but has put the rumour out there to get some publicity.  Dirty.  Well, if I was Jennifer I would at least ring him and tell him to play out his part of the deal!  It’s only fair!


I’m linked to Angelina Jolie!

June 26, 2008

Well kinda.  Not really.  I’ll explain in a bit.

I’m such a loser when it comes to celebrities.  I get starstruck when I see a high profile politician.  I’d probably squeal at someone I recognised off an advert.  Especially if it was Barry Scott off the Cilit Bang ads. He is a legend after all.

Anyway, I’d say the most famous person I’ve seen in the flesh is Steve Carell, very shortly after seeing The 40 Year Old Virgin, and I was just a big British blob of arse-licking goo. “Oh Steve, you’re so funny! I loved you in Bruce Almighty!” Cringe.

I can officially vouch that Steve Carell deals with
hysterical British tourists with politeness and grace.

But anyway. There was a point to this. Ah yes. I just read on officially the best blog in the world, Dlisted, that John Mayer is in the UK, in a neighbouring city to where I live.  And you know whose on tour with him?  Yes, his new girlfriend Rachel Green  Jennifer Aniston.  Jennifer Aniston is a train ride away from me!  Eeeee!  Ok, as you’ve probably guessed, I don’t live in London, therefore having actual A-list celebrities near me is a rare and exciting occurance.

Jenny and John have been papped mixing with mere
mortals near where I live. I want to be one of those mortals!

So when I find out they are nearby I get all angsty.  Like, the other day I read in heat  that Alexa Chung and Alex Turner were in a club that I go to sometimes, and was shouting: “Why?  WHY wasn’t I there?!  So not fair!”  Yeah, sad I know.

But I’m wandering from the point again (this blog entry is sponsored by beer).  The point is that Jennifer Aniston is next door to me (well, sort of).  She was married to Brad Pitt, who is now breeding with with Angelina Jolie, who I happen to absolutely worship.  So, I now have a closer link to Angie!  I might be almost breathing the same air as someone who has breathed the same air as someone who has actually touched her!


Ok, I’ll give up now.  Put the beer keyboard down.

Seriously though, I love Angelina.  I’ll say bad stuff about anyone on here, but not her.  Speaking of which, I wonder whether The Chosen Twins have popped out yet?