Archive for August, 2008

Not a great week for Kelly O

August 28, 2008

Poor Kelly Osbourne.  When I first saw this picture I thought: “Oh those tabloid darlings, always getting themselves into such scrapes!”  Seriously did you see Lily Allen go for that girl on the streets of London last week?  It was like looking at pictures of a rabid dog having a fit.

But I digress.  Apparently Kelly was at home with a stomach bug and she reached up to get a glass from her cupboard, only for the whole cabinet to come crashing down on top of her!  Unlucky!  (Glad to see she’s tucking into the Haribo for comfort though – there’s a girl after our own hearts.)

Now I had a stomach bug the other week and if that had happened to me, then my boyfriend would have probably come home to find me on the floor in tears in the middle of a puddle of my own excrement (it was a really nasty stomach bug).  So I sympathise with Kelly.  Especially as her Project Runway show has been cancelled.  She can’t be feeling great. 

Although she probably did get in a fight and the whole cupboard thing is a PR lie.  What?!   I’m allowed to be bitchy about her, she has a model toyboy to cheer her up!


Jade Goody has cancer

August 19, 2008


Jade Goody has been diagnosed with cervical cancer.  She received the news in India while participating in their version of Big Brother.  The clip apparently shows her being called to the diary room , after which she becomes hysterical and tells her fellow housemates: “I have cancer.” She has now left the house.

I’ve never hidden my dislike for Jade Goody in this blog.  I think the woman has absolutely no shame and needs to remove herself from the public eye.  But all the celebrities we love to hate – Jade, Kerry Katona, Paris Hilton etc … well, they’re still people.  

I guess what I’m trying to say is – no one deserves cancer.  Not even Jade Goody.

Hope she gets better soon, especially for the sake of her kids.

Katy Perry’s parents are not happy

August 19, 2008

If there’s one celebrity I’m liking at the moment it’s Katy Perry.  Dear lord, her song is like smack.  I heard it for the first time about a week ago and downloaded it instantly and have played it approximately 12,857362 times since.  When I’m not listening to it, I’m singing it.  I love it.  Plus, how utterly gorgeous is she?  The curvy trim figure.  The milky skin.  Those wide blue eyes.  I’d kiss her myself!

However, Katy’s strict  Evangelical parents are NOT happy about their little girl promoting homosexual behaviour.  Before Katy became well known she sang Christian music.  Then it seemed she developed her own racy identity and left God behind, much to the dismay of Ma and Pa.

Katy’s mother Mrs Hudson (Katy’s real name – she didn’t want to get mixed up with Kate Hudson) said of the number one hit I Kissed a Girl: “We hate it. It promotes homosexuality – which the Bible clearly states is a sin – and it is shameful and disgusting. When it comes on I bow my head and pray.”

Hahaha.  Sorry.  I can actually understand where the parents are coming from.  Of course the song is going to be highly upsetting for them, it goes against everything they taught Katy.  But the image of some middle aged God-fearing woman praying for salvation in the middle of the local supermarket does make me snigger. 

Maybe I’m going to hell as well.  In that case I’ll load up on cherry chapstick in case I bump into Katy down there!

Update: So apparently the quotes from Katy’s mum are completely made up.  Yeah probably by Katy herself!!  It worked, she got the attention. 

Still, I can’t imagine her parents are happy about their daughter singing about kissing girls.  If I was a singer and came out with that song, I’d feel weird knowing my grandma was going to hear it! 

I can imagine how Madonna must have felt back in the 90s when she did that crucifix thing at the show her father went to…

I used to think Robert Downey Jr was hot…

August 16, 2008

Until a small burrowing creature attached itself to his top lip.

This has to be for a role.  Has to.

Jennifer Aniston’s hot new man (but probably not)

August 15, 2008

You all must have heard by now that Jennifer and John Mayer have called it quits.  It’s no wonder really, they were three months in and already the magazines headlines were screaming about babies and marriage.  Anyway, although the media like to portay Jennifer as this, old, desperate spinster (lord forbid a WOMAN be single at 40!) it turns out she dumped him for cheating. 

You see, that is totally why I couldn’t go out with a gorgeous, famous, talented musician (and of course dozens have begged for my hand in marriage) – I’d be worried the whole time about what he was doing!

But, apparently, Jen has moved on quickly to the fine specimen in the picture above.  Well, I wouldn’t kick him out of bed for farting I suppose.  If you recognise him, it may be because he’s the hot male model that appears in Britney Spear’s Toxic video.

Mind you, there are now sources that say he’s not dating Jennifer but has put the rumour out there to get some publicity.  Dirty.  Well, if I was Jennifer I would at least ring him and tell him to play out his part of the deal!  It’s only fair!

But Beyonce’s always been pale, hasn’t she?

August 8, 2008

Everyone’s talking about this picture of Beyonce, which is part of Loreal’s latest Faria hair colour campaign.  Bloggers are saying her skin tone has been highlighted so much, she looks white.  Well, she sure doesn’t look much like a black person here, it’s true.  But then, when has she ever looked that dark?  She’s always been pale for her ethnicity, see:

Looks pretty much the same colour as in the Loreal ad!

There has also been speculation that they altered her features.  Her nose does look slim, but duh, that would be the nose job!

She’s still really airbrushed though, which is why she looks a tad paler.  When will magazines stop showing us these unrealistic images?  I’m tired of looking at adverts for mascara that have: “false inserts have been placed in model’s own lashes” printed at the bottom.  It basically means the picture gives no representation whatsoever of how well the mascara works.

But back to Beyonce.  If anything else the picture has got a good response from my male colleague of mine who just saw the picture over my shoulder and said: “Cor, I’d like to jump up and down on her!”