Archive for June, 2008

Kanye West writes like a 13-year-old schoolgirl

June 30, 2008

Amy Winehouse, ever elegant and refined, called Kanye West a C word during her Glastonbury performance this weekend.  Now, whenever Kanye gets ‘dissed he likes to take to his blog to defend himself with articulate dignity, and this time was no exception.

OMG, LIKE, KANYE IS SUCH A COOL GANGSTA!!!!! THAT AMY WHINEHOUSE  IS SOOOOOOOO STOOPID!!!!!!!

LOLZ!!!!!!!

 

This woman is too fat for Brazil

June 27, 2008

Karolina Kurkova: fat beast.

The Brazilian Media have attacked 24-year-old supermodel Karolina Kurkova for being too ‘fat’ for runway modelling.  After she appeared in a bikini runway show, reports say that her “back fat” and “cellulite” drew “gasps of horror” from onlookers.

Well who wouldn’t be horrified looking at that?  Just look at the fat cow, why the hell did they let her on the catwalk in the first place?  Her stomach isn’t concave.  I can’t see her ribs.  And oh my god, is that a curvy bottom I see there?!  Disgusting.  Unacceptable.

Of course I’m being sarcastic.  This actually makes me pretty angry.  Right now, I’d really like to meet anyone who calls this woman fat and tie them to a chair and force-feed them deep-fried lard pies.

Certain media outlets can hardly avoid blame for eating disorders when they have a problem with a beautiful, slim, healthy-looking model strutting her stuff. 

Madonna and Guy are divorcing

June 27, 2008
 
Another one bites the dust

So, the rumours were true after all.  I thought something wasn’t quite right when Madge adopted David Banda and had a family portrait done with her children – but without Guy.

Apparently, she’s got Fiona Shackleton as her lawyer (the lady who represented Paul McCartney and looked a hundred times hotter after Heather Mills chucked a jug of water over her).

 
From dated to chic: Fiona Shackleton turned into a posh
bit of totty when Heather Mills gave her a soaking.

We could have another messy divorce of Mucca proportions here as there’s allegedly no prenup between Madge and Guy. 

Well, just goes to show, that you can’t have it all. Madonna has a fabulous career, bags of money, good looks and a hot body – yet she couldn’t make her marriage last. 

The same can be said for so many female stars who have a string of failed romances trailing behind them. Cameron Diaz, Renee Zellweger, Jessica Simpson are just a few who seem doomed to be eternally single!

I’m linked to Angelina Jolie!

June 26, 2008

Well kinda.  Not really.  I’ll explain in a bit.

I’m such a loser when it comes to celebrities.  I get starstruck when I see a high profile politician.  I’d probably squeal at someone I recognised off an advert.  Especially if it was Barry Scott off the Cilit Bang ads. He is a legend after all.

Anyway, I’d say the most famous person I’ve seen in the flesh is Steve Carell, very shortly after seeing The 40 Year Old Virgin, and I was just a big British blob of arse-licking goo. “Oh Steve, you’re so funny! I loved you in Bruce Almighty!” Cringe.


I can officially vouch that Steve Carell deals with
hysterical British tourists with politeness and grace.

But anyway. There was a point to this. Ah yes. I just read on officially the best blog in the world, Dlisted, that John Mayer is in the UK, in a neighbouring city to where I live.  And you know whose on tour with him?  Yes, his new girlfriend Rachel Green  Jennifer Aniston.  Jennifer Aniston is a train ride away from me!  Eeeee!  Ok, as you’ve probably guessed, I don’t live in London, therefore having actual A-list celebrities near me is a rare and exciting occurance.


Jenny and John have been papped mixing with mere
mortals near where I live. I want to be one of those mortals!

So when I find out they are nearby I get all angsty.  Like, the other day I read in heat  that Alexa Chung and Alex Turner were in a club that I go to sometimes, and was shouting: “Why?  WHY wasn’t I there?!  So not fair!”  Yeah, sad I know.

But I’m wandering from the point again (this blog entry is sponsored by beer).  The point is that Jennifer Aniston is next door to me (well, sort of).  She was married to Brad Pitt, who is now breeding with with Angelina Jolie, who I happen to absolutely worship.  So, I now have a closer link to Angie!  I might be almost breathing the same air as someone who has breathed the same air as someone who has actually touched her!


Angelinaaaa!!

Ok, I’ll give up now.  Put the beer keyboard down.

Seriously though, I love Angelina.  I’ll say bad stuff about anyone on here, but not her.  Speaking of which, I wonder whether The Chosen Twins have popped out yet? 

Vivienne Westwood didn’t like the SATC movie

June 25, 2008
 
Vivienne Westwood: Iconic designer, crazy old bird.

Wacky fashion designer Vivienne Westwood has publicly spoken of her disregard for the Sex and the City movie, despite her own work being featured in it.

The 67-year-old says: “I thought Sex and the City was supposed to be about cutting-edge fashion and there was nothing remotely memorable or interesting about what I saw. I went to the premiere and left after 10 minutes.”

She added that she thought the film was: “Quite dull.”

This surprises me as while I agree the fashion wasn’t ‘cutting edge’ I did think it was very fun and enjoyable. The outfits had me gasping both in admiration and horror, and I thought the best dress was one Carrie wears for a Vogue shoot, designed by Westwood herself!  Her name even appears in the script, so what’s not to like from her point of view?

 
SJP as Carrie in one of Viv’s dresses.
Complete with a dead bird on head.

But I suppose she doesn’t have to like the film just because her designs appear in it.  Maybe she felt like slagging off the film’s stylist Patricia Field because she feels threatened by her; after all, both women are maturing, highly prominent in the fashion industry and sporting wacky bright hair dos!

Plus, old Viv does like to go against the grain.  I met her once while she was demonstrating outside the Houses of Parliament against nuclear weapons, and while she was very pleasant and took the time to chat to me, she was definitely a bit ‘away with the fairies’.

I was glad to see she does actually wear that outrageous hair and makeup during the day as well though!

The BNTM bitch-fest commences!

June 24, 2008

Stef: She’s met her match in her arrogant competitors

Let me tell you a secret.  I already know who wins Britain’s Next Top Model although the series has about three weeks left.  At least, if the forums I have been carelessly browsing through are correct I know who wins.  Don’t worry my lips are sealed.  However, if it is who ‘they’ say it is, I’m surprised.  That’s all I’m saying!

I also knew that there was going to be no elimination this week.  The show’s producer’s know exactly what they’re doing and the relationship between the girls is so scathing it’s a good idea to keep them all in a bit longer to keep ratings up.  The girls are on the brink of stabbing each other’s eyes out with their mascara wands and the heat is reaching boiling point.

 (As this is probably totally boring for non BNTM fans, click the next page for the rest.)

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