Cheryl Cole has no style

Cheryl Cole’s style is ever changing.  She’s gone from clueless chav, to nation’s sweetheart and now… well, it’s sort of going downhill again isn’t it? 

When your stomach looks bony and your teeth are getting too big for your face,  it’s probably time to pick up a custard sandwich and snarf it down, pronto.  Eat, woman.

And I won’t go into the dress thing, made of moss and cheap curtain tassles.

Goes to show, no matter how much fame and fortune smiles upon you, or how pretty and thin you are,  if you don’t have style, you don’t have style.

RIP Michael Jackson

Now I pride myself on only ever writing about things I want to on this blog, and not writing about something just because everyone else is talking about it.

But the passing of Michael Jackson is a historical day for music and popular culture, and I couldn’t just simply let it pass without a mention.

When I heard the news I was driving to work along the motorway and my mouth was hanging open with shock for the rest of the journey.  A legend was dead, and although I was never a massive fan, I don’t think there are many people who don’t have some sort of memory attached to some of his work.

The man had a strange, sad life in many ways, and perhaps he was the original car crash celebrity. But he will be missed and always remembered.

Rest in Peace, Jacko.

YUCK

Oh. Dear. 

These “shoes” are apparently going to be the next trend for all fashion victims who rush out to buy the latest thing just because it’s “in”, never mind that fact that it’s FREAKING UGLY AS HELL. 

Like Uggs, and Crocs, but much, much worse.

I mean I ask this about everything I post but I will ask it again- SERIOUSLY??

Even the models look like they’d rather be wearing footwear of piranhas chewing away at their toes than these monstrosities.

Car Crash Advertising: Burger King

Seriously?

File this one under “onlookers faces says it all”

A slimed up bit of charcoaled grisle known to some as Jordan went to the quiet, reclusive beaches of Ibiza to relax and stay out of the limelight, following the emotionally exhausting process of splitting with her husband and father of her children.

The demure beauty carried on with work as usual, shooting a tasteful calender -but was of course careful not to draw attention to herself.

However, try as she might, her natural radiance couldn’t help but draw people from far and wide to gaze upon her with wonder. 

“Who is this goddess?” they asked aloud, “this goddess with skin of rust and hair of such equestrian beauty?  Has one ever seen such voluptuous youth so perfected?”

“Go away!” cried the burnished queen. “I do not care for attention. I only wish to spend time alone with my children.  Oh do stop taking pictures of me!”

The crowd said… ok, my satire meter has run out now.

Rihanna’s dress is scary, however you look at it

Ok.  If you look at the big, angry gorilla’s mouth for long enough, it starts to look as though she has a big, gory, gaping wound in her stomach.

You know, a bit like that scene from Death Becomes Her:

So, either way you look at it- big, screaming monkey or big, gory hole – it’s not really the best look.