When did teenagers get so “cool”?

Here’s another young chick who I look at and wonder where the hell her mother is.  And I don’t like it when I think like that because it makes me feel old.  And I’m not.  Honest. 

But maybe 25 is considered “past it” nowadays if this is how under-18s are dressing.  What’s happened to teenagers?  When I think of my adolescent years, I think of awful fashion, bad hair, acne and awkwardness.  But for today’s tweens life seems like one big Skins episode, where everyone is lithe, leggy and stylish. 

How self-assured does 16-year-old Taylor Momsen look, above, in all of her bleached and stocking-ed glory?  Why couldn’t I look as aloof as Kristen Stewart when I was 18??

Thing is, underneath the fame and glamour that these young girls are enjoying, I do wonder what the cost is.   Taylor particularly concerns me.  I mean, ok, you have great legs love, but, you ARE 16.  How long was her childhood, five minutes?  It’s not just the chemical-coloured hair extensions and lashings of eyeliner that are worrying but the “seen it all, done it all” expression on her face.  I see another Lindsay Lohan in the making here, and it’s sad, but that’s now an unfortunate comparison to make.

I think there are a few showbiz mums out there that need to worry a bit more about hitching their daughters’ skirts down and taking away the cigarettes and party invitations, famous or not.

Paris picks a pumpkin

Oh look.  Two big, bland vegetables pictured together.  How nice! 

We can always trust Paris to get with a seasonal theme.  While the rest of us stick a pair of cat ears or devil horns on our heads and call it a day, she goes and drops a few hundred dollars on some rather expensive-looking orange and black shoes.  Which I actually quite like, it has to be said. Louboutins maybe?

Hang on… is a pumpkin a fruit or a vegetable?  It has seeds so it has to be a fruit, right? …

…Well, let’s just pretend it’s a vegetable anyway, for the sake of my rib-cracking joke up there.

The problem with always wearing red lipstick is…

… you just look a bit odd when you’re seen without it. 

Of course the weird lion-mullet isn’t helping Gwen Stefani’s case much here either.

Sienna Miller can’t act, or afford new clothes

Sienna Miller hit the Broadway in New York this week to appear in a play called After Miss Julie.  Because she’s not just a husband stealing fashion icon you know – she’s like, a real actress.

Or not according to some critics. The Wall Street Journal said:  “A model turned second-tier movie star, all she does is stalk around the stage striking vampy poses… she has no more business playing a classic stage role than I have posing for the cover of Vogue.“

Ouch.  That’s a bit harsh when times are obviously already so hard for Sienna.  I mean she can’t even afford new clothes and went out in that moth-eaten holey thing.  Poor love.

But her music’s not that bad!

Poor Leona Lewis.  She was in London today signing copies of her new book and a male “fan” queued up especially to adminster a big fat punch to her face.

Harsh.

The 20-something year old was arrested for assault and Leona’s record label have since cleared her diary for the immediate couple of days and booked her into the Harley clinic to fix her mug.

This really is quite nasty.  Leona isn’t the coolest kid in the industry and her warbly pop sound and dull-as-dishwater persona will probably irk a few but come on -  the girl is mostly inoffensive! 

This guy has got it all wrong.  You don’t punch someone like Leona Lewis in the face.  She’s a nice, clean girl.  

He could have at least waited for Jordan’s next book signing- after all she does tend to have one roughly once a week.  Or Paris Hilton.  That would actually be quite funny.  Oh, or Peaches Geldof!  Imagine!  That would be just delicious! 

Ahem.  What I meant to say is, punching people is wrong and no one deserves to have physical pain inflicted on them.  Shame on him.

Seriously, we all love to hate celebrities at times.  But it’s when people forget that they are, in fact, real people, that we have a problem.  Definately not cool.

But I thought she loved cameras?

Here’s a picture of camera-shy Jordan doing a Britney. 

Maybe she’ll shave her head next week if she thinks that papers aren’t paying her quite enough attention.